ThanksKilling (2008)

Booze: Pumpkin Pie Martini

1.5 oz Captain Morgan Jack-O-Blast Pumpkin Spiced Rum
1.5 oz Bailey’s – I’m dairy-free, so I used Bailey’s Almande (delish!) but you could also use the original or their Pumpkin Spice flavor
1 oz Calico Jack Whipped Cream Rum
¾ oz Kahlua
Top with whipped cream (I used Cool Whip) and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice

B-Movie: ThanksKilling

ThanksKilling is a 2008 horror-comedy about a murderous turkey terrorizing co-eds during Thanksgiving break. There’s some attempt at a background story that involves a Native American shaman who necromanced a turkey after being disrespected by a pilgrim who just so happens to be an ancestor of one of the co-eds. The turkey then returns to kill every 505 years—or whenever his totem pole gets peed on. If this sounds at all interesting, forget you’ve read it because that subplot doesn’t go anywhere. None of the plot does, though the movie is great fun anyway. I would even go so far as to say it’s the best movie about a killer turkey I’ve ever seen. The movie was shot in just 11 days, with a budget of $3,500. Props for that, since the Sheriff’s costume alone had to cost a pretty penny. In fact, if anyone comes across that thing on ebay, let me know. I need one.

Best Line:

This was a tough one. I’m going to go with “If he isn’t in his teepee, he’s killing one of your friends.” Which is even funnier when you understand that it’s a line from a book about how to deal with killer turkeys.

Closely tied for second place: “Your stepmomma left me. Love you bye!” and “My ex-boyfriend was a pilgrim.”

Best Time to Freshen Your Drink:

Any time the kids are in the car. But hurry – at 70 minutes, it’s a short movie, and just like Thanksgiving, you DO NOT want to miss the turkey!

Take a Drink Whenever:

  • Turkie makes an appearance
  • Someone makes a sexual innuendo. Or during any actual sex act involving humans or poultry
  • One of the characters makes a reference to Thanksgiving dinner
  • Someone makes the JonBenet Ramsey joke. No, that’s not a typo. It’s the JonBenet Ramsey joke, not a JonBenet Ramsey joke. And yes, you’ll be drinking more than once on this one.
  • Johnny pulls a theory out of his ass or something useful out of his pocket

Finish Your Drink When:

Kristin eats her drumstick. If she’s not worried about radiation poisoning, you certainly don’t need to worry about alcohol poisoning.

Cocktail Rating: 
I’m giving this one a solid 3 out of 5. Good flavor, great Thanksgiving after-dinner drink, but a bit heavy and not a cocktail you’d drink on a regular basis

Movie Rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝
This one gets 4 out of 5 B’s. Really high in B schlock and entertainment value. Between the puppet itself, the scene between Turkie/Groucho and Turkey/Sheriff, and the tribute song to Billy, I can’t even pick a favorite moment. Okay, it’s the Turkey/Sheriff.