Santa Claus (1959)

Booze: Mexican Hot Chocolate
1 disc Abuelita Mexican Chocolate
4 cups milk
4 0z Jose Cuervo Cinge Cinnamon Tequila
(Makes 2 drinks)

Combine chocolate and milk in a saucepan and warm until melted. Pour into mugs. Add 2 oz tequila to each mug. Enjoy!

N/A option: Since this is technically a kid’s movie, you may want to include them in the festivities. In this case, just serve the hot chocolate without the tequila.

B-Movie: Santa Claus (1959)

Also known as Santa Claus vs. the Devil. With Merlin. And Vulcan. And many, many terrible stereotypical depictions of children from other countries. What can I say? This movie has it all. It’s a Mexican holiday film from the ‘50’s that was apparently a Christmas staple on television at one time, though it does make me wonder what sort of ideas the director had about Santa Claus. And what his childhood was like. 😨 Anyhoo, the plot is essentially this: Lucifer hates Santa, and he sends his devil, Pitch, up to Earth on Christmas Eve to convince little children to turn evil and take Santa down a notch. Or destroy him completely. I dunno, really. There’s a line where Pitch gleefully contemplates Santa’s imminent destruction, which he believes will allow him to take over the world. Because Santa is currently ruling it? And a couple of kids turning to rock throwing and petty theft is all that’s standing between us and total anarchy? So, yeah. There are a couple of plot holes. Also, did I mention Merlin works for Santa? As does Vulcan, the Roman God of fire. And lots and lots of child laborers. Really, Santa does almost nothing for himself in this movie. Except he does wind his own reindeer. So there’s that.

Best Line:
“It’s strange! I suddenly have an urge to see our son!” Yup, that is strange. It’s Christmas Eve and you want to be with your kid rather than in this bar? Who could’ve predicted that?

Best Time to Freshen Your Drink:
This is a tough one. I’m going to say Lupita’s dream sequence. There’s only so man times you can hear a toddler tell a bunch of creepy, life-sized dolls “stealing is bad and I am good” before you need more tequila.

Take a Drink Whenever:

  • Santa laughs. That creepy, unsettling laugh.
  • You suspect there’s something other than ‘toy making’ going on in Santa’s Workshop. I’ll get you started – Is Merlin running a meth lab? And WHY are the lips on Santa’s Tele-talker so big???
  • Anyone has a dream. Or just gets knocked out by Merlin’s ‘sleepy dust.’
  • Santa attempts to slide down a chimney.
  • One of the adults victim-blames the kids. Examples include “I don’t know why you never get a doll, Lupita. Maybe you forgot to ask for one,” and “Of course your (absent every day, including Christmas Eve) parents love you. YOU just have to believe it’s true.” I’m paraphrasing, but you get the idea.

Finish Your Drink When:
Partway through our viewing, my brother-in-law and nephew suggested that perhaps we’d been thinking about the whole movie wrong, and that Santa was actually the villain. Finish your drink when you reach the point where you agree with this theory. If you come to this realization early, make another. After all, it’s Christmas.

Cocktail Rating: 
Definitely a 4 out of 5. Next time, I’d add whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon on top. Fabulous use of Cuervo Cinge and a great winter warmer drink!

Movie Rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝1/2
This is right up there with some of the best B-movies we’ve watched. It ticks all my boxes: Ridiculously stilted dialogue, campy costumes, a nonsensical plot, and it made me laugh so hard I was in danger of wetting myself. In fact, I’d watch it again, which is not a claim I make about many of the movies we’ve seen.