6
Jan
Off

Turkish Star Wars (1982)

Turkish Star Wars aka Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam aka The Man Who Saved the World

Booze: Turkish Martini
3 oz Pomegranate juice
1 ½ oz Vodka
¾ oz Cointreau
1/3 oz lime juice
Spritz of Ouzo

Shake first 4 ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into martini glass. Use martini atomizer (available on Amazon and very James Bond-ish) to spritz Ouzo over the top for just a hint of licorice flavor. I adapted this recipe from the Swinging Sultan cocktail at www.panningtheglobe.com, using the same ingredients, but changing the amounts to match our taste. Also, I cut the vodka amount in half. Trust me, if you’re going to use this cocktail with this movie and this drinking game, you’re going to need to pace yourself.

B-Movie: Turkish Star Wars

Yes, this is a thing. And yes, it is as amazing as it sounds. It’s my firm belief that the best B-movies have a great story about their inception, and this film is no exception. It seems that back in the ‘80’s, there was some kind of embargo on American films in Turkey. So an enterprising filmmaker thought that if he were to, say, ‘borrow’ a bit of footage from Star Wars, along with the film scores of half a dozen other films, no one would be the wiser. Well, he was wrong. In his defense, he only stole the footage for background. And the title. And maybe a scene idea or two. The rest of the movie bears little resemblance to Star Wars. It does look like a bunch of other crap, though. I know, this is where I’m supposed to tell you about the plot. Honestly, I have no idea. This guy, let’s call him Turkish Lee Majors, is some kind of space ninja. His spaceship crashes on this planet that is inhabited by at least a dozen other species, all of which seem to really, really want to hurt him and his friend, Turkish Jamie Farr. There’s also something about a golden brain and a magic sword. Oh, and a romance with Turkish Olivia Newton-John. See? This movie really does have it all.

Best Line:
I don’t know. We watched this without subtitles, so it’s anyone’s guess.

Biggest Laugh:
The training montage. Hands down.

Best Time to Freshen Your Drink:
When Turkish Olivia Newton-John invites the heroes into her hut/cave. Probably something important, plot-wise, happens in here. But without speaking Turkish, it’s just a couple of sweaty Turks with no shirts and some looooong glances between TONJ and TLM.

Take a Drink Whenever:

  • You recognize footage blatantly ripped off from the original Star Wars.
  • You recognize music blatantly ripped off from any other movie franchise. Bonus drink if you can name the songs.
  • Turkish Lee Majors stares directly into the camera.
  • Your favorite villain makes an appearance. You’ve got a lot to choose from here—the Monty Python skeletons, Darth Ming, the angry Elmos, Mummy Claws, tin men Storm Troopers, the giant tinsel-fingered bear, the robot from Lost in Space, Kabuki mask dudes, the hunchback gorillas, the Oscar statues. Pick your team, then like a good fan, drink whenever they’re on screen.
  • You hear an oddly placed sound effect. This includes, but is not limited to, the cartoon boing, the bionic man stutter, the light saber zip, and yes, the cat’s meow. Don’t ask, I have no idea what they were thinking.
  • Turkish Lee Majors attacks a rock.
  • Turkish Jamie Farr attacks Turkish Lee Majors.
  • Turkish Lee Majors dons his pepperoni shirt.

Finish Your Drink When:
*SPOILER ALERT*
Darth Ming gets chopped in half. Although they won’t SHOW you his mangled body (no graphic violence in this flick) they will darken half the screen so that you can see first the left half, and then the right, of his supposedly bisected head. This film takes the term ‘special effects’ to a whole new level.

Cocktail Rating: 
I need to remember to take photos of these drinks. This was such a pretty pomegranate color, and as delicious as it looked! Smooth and refreshing, plus you get to use the atomizer. What more could you want from a cocktail?

Movie Rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
I loved this SO much! It reminded me of another one of my favorites, Flash Gordon. Like Flash, this is an over-the-top cheese-fest, complete with ridiculous costumes, cartoon-worthy action sequences, and a non-sensical plot. The only thing missing is the awkwardly translated dialogue. Which is why I’m putting this one at the top of my re-watch pile. The only thing better than the first viewing of Turkish Star Wars has to be the second viewing! Plus, I’ve still got a bottle of pomegranate juice and half an atomizer of Ouzo, so I am set. Angry Elmos, here I come!

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