Booze: Elvis Presley Martini
1.5 oz Vodka
1.5 oz Bailey’s Almond Liqueur
1.5 oz Macadamia Nut Liqueur
1 oz banana liqueur
The goal was to get something that tasted like a peanut butter and ‘nana sandwich, and I think we nailed it! Shake over ice and serve in martini glass.
B-Movie: Bubba Ho-Tep
Full disclosure: This is either the most well-crafted B-movie ever, or it’s no B-movie at all. I honestly don’t know. Elvis—the real Elvis, not an impersonator, and JFK—possibly an impersonator, though he believes he’s the real JFK, despite the fact that he’s black (“They dyed me this color”) hunt a mummy who’s stealing the souls of the old people by sucking them out of their bungholes. I mean, it’s a fact that souls can be sucked out of any major orifice. JFK has a book that proves it.
“Ask not what your rest home can do for you. Ask what you can do for your rest home.”
The aging Elvis attempting karate
Best Time to Freshen Your Drink:
When the nurse steps out for a smoke. Someone else might have been curious about those weird flashing lights in the gardener’s shed, but you really can’t blame the poor woman whose job involves lubing up old guys’ junk for minimum wage for not going out of her way on her break to check it out.
Take a Drink Whenever:
- Someone kills a scarab
- You recognize an actor enough to say, ‘hey, it’s that guy!’ but not enough that you know his name or what you saw him in
- An old person dies
- Elvis mentions his pecker
- Elvis sets something on fire
- Bubba Ho-Tep makes an appearance
Finish Your Drink When:
Elvis utters his famous line. You know the one.
Cocktail Rating: 1/2
Would I make it for anything other than watching this movie? Probably not. But it goes with it so well. Like peanut butter and, well, you get the idea.
Movie Rating: 🐝🐝🐝
A solid 3. Some really funny moments, as well as some that dragged. But a coherent plot, surprisingly well-developed characters, and really snappy dialogue.