23
Jun
Off

The Stuff (1985)

Booze: The Stuff

2 oz vanilla vodka
5 big strawberries
Several scoops of vanilla ice cream
Blend and serve. Just like the Stuff, only pink.

B-Movie: The Stuff

The Stuff is a horror comedy from the 1980’s about sentient, addictive goop that when eaten takes over human’s bodies and then . . . . I’m not entirely clear on the rest. I think it eats them from the inside out? Only sometimes it gets angry, as sentient goop will do, and then it eats them from the outside in. So sentient, addictive, and versatile! The goop comes out of the ground, and is promptly marketed and distributed by some big, bad business men who don’t know what the goop is and don’t care, as long as it makes them money. Only one small child is smart enough to figure out that the Stuff is bad news, and no one believes him except David ‘Mo money’ Rutherford and Chocolate Chip Charlie. Together, they must fight the Stuff with everything they have – shaving cream, fire, and fists that are lethal weapons. But the most powerful weapon they have is the TRUTH. And a heavily-armed Paul Sorvino.

Best Line: “Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while.” And in close second, “No one is a dumb as I appear to be.”

Biggest Laugh: Chocolate Chip Charlie! I can’t say more, but you’ll know it when you see it.

Best Time to Freshen Your Drink:  This is one of the few movies out there with built in commercial breaks, so if you need a refill, take advantage and step out of the room during those weird, repetitive Stuff jingles.

Take a Drink Whenever:

  • Someone eats the Stuff
  • Mo makes a mo joke
  • Chocolate Chip Charlie refers to himself in 3rd person
  • A Stuff commercial airs
  • A stuffie gets stuffed

Finish Your Drink When: Mo force feeds the bad guys

Cocktail Rating: 🍸 🍸 🍸 🍸

Delicious and addictive, just like the real Stuff! Unfortunately, these aren’t low-calorie, but on the plus side the pink color makes it easier to drink them without worrying about getting Stuffed.

Movie Rating: 🐝 🐝1/2

Not my favorite B-movie, but not the worst either. Solid entertainment, with delightfully cheesy special-effects. And the performances by Mo and Charlie deserve an entire B of their own. Someone should make a spin-off TV show where those two fight supernatural goo every week! They could call it The Goo Fighters! I’d totally watch that.

Tags: