7
Jul
Off

The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

Booze:  Popsicle Cocktails

1 Red, white, and blue bomb pop

Champagne

Fill glass with champagne, add popsicle and serve.

 

B-Movie:  The Incredible Melting Man

A 1977 cult classic where the clear focus was to see how far they could push the disgusting melting effects rather than any attempt at a plot. While on a mission to the rings of Saturn to view the sun (don’t bother trying to wrap your head around the logistics of that), Astronaut Steve gets zapped, I guess, by radiation, which we learn when we see it scrawled in red crayon on his medical chart. This radiation causes his skin to melt, but also makes him stronger and gives him a taste for human flesh, which Dr. Ted Nelson explains while riding the noisiest conveyor belt ever. How Dr. Ted knows any of this is a mystery and will remain one, along with other burning questions that never get answered, like where are Ted’s crackers? And who are those random people who show up at the crime scene? And if Steve is picking off the residents of this town one by one, why don’t they try harder to stop him, or at least warn people, instead of giving up and throwing a dinner party? Alas, we may never know. But we do get this important public service message: Candy for pregnant women is a no-no, but lemons, wine, and sedatives? Perfectly all right. Listen to Ted! He’s a doctor!

Best Line:

Anything Ted says with his deadpan delivery, including, “We don’t have any crackers,” “I am a doctor,” and “Listen to me. I’m Ted Nelson.”

Biggest Laugh:

The dummy on the power lines

Best Time to Freshen Your Drink:

The weird sunset walk Steve takes through the desert as he ponders how he got here and where he’s going. Apparently even melting monsters are not above having an existential crisis.

Take a Drink Whenever:

  • The film ups the ick factor. You cringe, you drink.
  • Steve kills someone
  • Ted Nelson introduces himself
  • Ted acts like a psychopath
  • Someone sticks their hand in goo
  • Steve has a flashback
  • General Perry eats something
  • BONUS DRINK: Every time someone says Steve’s name. (Only attempt this if you have multiple bottles on hand and are not driving!)

Finish Your Drink When:

The janitor arrives for work. Unless there’s some kind of bonus for every dead body he sweeps up, this guy does NOT get paid enough.

Cocktail Rating: 🍸 🍸 🍸 🍸

These were great! Super easy, and the perfect drink for watching a man melt away.

Movie Rating: 🐝 🐝 🐝

This is worth a watch, both for the special effects and for Burr DeBenning’s weird performance as Dr. Ted Nelson, a man who is just as concerned with his lack of crackers and his issues with his mother-in-law as he is with his friend going on a radioactive killing spree. Let’s face it, not many actors have the range to pull that off. Burr might not either, but it sure is fun to watch him try.

 

 

 

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